Is It Hard To Pray While That Beers In Your Hand...??

Jesus drank wine... WE GET IT. But I highly doubt that while our homeboy Hey-zoos was having a stout glass of Merlot with his bread and cheese he was smoking a menthol cig and telling the slut across the dinner table to shut the fuck up. If you choose to be an active participant in an organized religion, do the world a favor and stop alternating facebook statuses between "god loves everyone so much.. etc. etc." and "cant wait to get hammered at my bffs party tonight. TEQUILA wohooo!" I mean.... Good for you for leading your bible study and being a counselor at summer church camp, but please stop plaguing my news feed with contradicting messages on how you choose to spend your time. It's just nauseating... Now I know even I can be a little hypocritical sometimes, but I for damn sure don't walk into the freakin' strip club with my beer in one hand and my fresh copy of the New Testament (New King James Version of course) in the other hand. However, what I find the most extremely entertaining is when people post photo albums online with some catchy song title that is completely irrelevant to anything that your doing within your photos, and then proceed to have a mixture of fun church activities and then your crazy party you had the next night... Am I just crazy or did I just sleep through the memo... Whatever, I digress... Now I'm off to go study my bible while taking shots of vodka every time they say Jesus....

God Bless, Chug a Beer and shit.

Currently Listening To: Hypocrisy at it's finest.

This Bar Is A Trailer Park....

It's been QUITE a while since I've written but I have missed it--so here we go again: This weekend can't quite be described accurately in words but I will do my best to give its insanity descriptive justice. On a last minute drunken whim, a friend convinces me to ride with him to Columbia, SC (land of the USC Gamecocks) to see some of our fellow college friends for the UGA v USC game. Seeing as how I'm an easily persuaded drunk and I had nothing too intense planned for the weekend, I phoned my dad at 1:30 in the morning and told him I would need some extra cash for a road trip.... Shockingly, he wasn't even weirded out by the request--let alone how late it was. So friday morning it was off to Columbia, which was surprisingly only a few short hours, a half a tank of gas, and approximately 13 "third-world-country" style towns away. When we arrived at our friends house (and by house i mean college town mini-mansion) the drinking started instantly- I mean, hey, it's 6 PM on a friday... what else did we have to do? The friend we stayed with lived with three other sorority sisters who had all spent the day putting martha stewart to shame by baking cookies, brownies, and a bean dip that disappeared before we even went out... so much for the late night drunchies. After a few clutch vodka redbulls, a failed game of beer pong, and multiple noise complaints from geriatric neighbors, we piled our 60 + into cabs and sober driver vehicles and headed out to Columbia's version of a downtown scene. Don't get me wrong, the university of S. Carolina (or "Cola" as they have so creatively nicknamed themselves...??) definitely had an interesting night life scene, however our friendly host's bar of choice just so happened to be what looked like a strip club converted from a trailer park. After slumming around the greater drunken Columbia, we ventured back via small groups of shared cabs to our house and attempted to late night like we were freshman. --BLACKOUT--

.....woke up at 7 to the sqwaking shreeks of the returned roomates complaining that the upstairs smelled like a mixture of vomit and freshly rotting corpses. It took me several minutes to remember that I had come to a different city and drank myself into a coma the night before, but as soon as I came around I was definitely in one of those "im never drinking again" moods... moral of that story? Don't make fun of a trailer park bar... it will fuck your life in the nostril. So I tried to wait out my hangover by being the sober guy during the tailgating procession of gameday and that was just miserable. Didn't go into the stadium for the game because 3 hours of standing and screaming just didn't sound all that appealing at the time. Watched the game at a bar instead. Went home, took a nap, and got up and repeated friday night all over again. Only this time our night was squashed by the swarm of degenerate UGA fans (no offense uga friends) that were all wearing jean shorts and half ripped t-shirts.. I even had to tell a girl in line for the bar that her labia was hangin a little too low for anyones liking... yeahhh.. goooo dawgss? But enough about the small stuff. Overall, I had a great time getting waste with great friends and doing a little bit of sight seeing all the while.

...... now call me a hipocryte but I'm beyond stoked for Athens this weekend!

Holla back Hoebags.