Hey! Don't Puke On The Birthday Girl....!!

So my blogging is following my return from a sorority on sorority flag football game, I'll get to that in a minute but it was quite hilarious. This weekend was massively insane (I feel like I say this about all my weekends... hmmm. Typical me.) It was a good friend of mine's birthday and genius me decided to throw her a raging party. My roomates and I invested are hard earned cash -- by hard earned I mean newly acquired Financial Aid checks of course -- and threw down for not one, but TWO kegs and a large NFL sized cooler of Hunch Punch, you know, the usual. If you can, try and imagine my quaint 3 story townhome apartment packed wall-to-mother frekin-wall with 300 of our good friends, and a 10 to 20 randoms here and there. One of which said randoms thought he would go ahead and be "that guy" and puke on my living room carpet. Cooool Dude, dont play beer pong if you can't handle the contents of your stomach. Ass. In the process of his literal projectil vomiting he pukes straight onto on of my buddies, then proceeds to be a sprayer and trail his vomitrociousness all over 2 little sorority girls (both dart for the bathroom and cry about the vom on their new leather boots and heels. ha.) But don't worry... he didn't stop there. He continued to misfire and instead of aiming for the door he spews a few garden-sprinkler like jet streams of barf onto the birthday girls dress and her boyfriend... while this is strangely hilarious to talk about now, shit got pretty intense at the time. Her boyfriend asks him and his vomiting fan club of random cronies to leave. The cronies get buck and start arguing and I am almost positive while I was cleaning up the "spill" I heard him say: "Chill the F*ck out dude! It's just some barf dude everyone pukes! It could be worse! I coulda pissed on your walls or shit on your carpet!!" .......yes. yes you asshole you could have, but your bitch ass little friend puked and that's gross enough. After cleaning the spill I decided I had had enough of puking freshman and beer spilling drunk bitches. Sooo what do I do? Naturally I sketch out of my own party and hit up the bars. Ha. Gotta Love Me...

After an intense night I of course have to relax my liver by sleeping til 3 and skipping the Game Day festivities. Don't worry though, I still went up to those bars like it was my frekin job. Great night. As for tonight I decided to party it up at the library until 10 and go watch the hilarity that was a brood of sorostitutes sporting their penny jerseys and pullable flags. Aside from the breaking of nails and pulling of hair they actually did pretty good. Quite entertaining I must say... But I have blabbed enough. I've gotta go convince my friend Madison (who just farted in my face... classy bitch) to stop trying to Pay Per View the pornon 2 Horny 2 Say No on Dish Network... See yahhh.

Currently Listening to: Thrash Unreal by Against Me!

& Fireflies by Owl City

This Frat House Looks Like A Holiday Inn Lobby....

I know this is a little delayed, but if you'd had the weekend I just had you'd probablly still be too fucked up to type two words... Anyway... I'm still sideways from the events of this weekend. Thursday was bar night in college town, nothing too out of the ordinary. Friday, well it was quite the awkward/intensely fun night. My girlfriends dad was turning 50 and if you knew her parents you would know that no event goes by without a MASSIVE celebration. We started out at her house in Buckhead/Atlanta with martinis, catered appatizers, the works. Then had a humongous sushi bar catered while still drinking and taking delicious sake bombs. After what we college aged peoples call "pre-gaming" / what 50 year olds call "a few starter drinks", a fucking party bus picks up me, my girlfriend, and roughly 30 to 40 couples ages 40-...um... ancient. ha. We are raging on this bus, music blaring (you know, the classics: sweet caroline, jeremiah was a bullfrog, etc.) We get dropped off at Opera in downtown ATL. And if I had time I would totally describe the immaculancy that was this night club, but I've been gargling adderol like its my job at the library all night and I'm too tired. But I'll abbreviate the night in a few short words: Infinite bars, hot hostesses(?), VIP booth, pitchers of vodka (free...VIP duh), guidos snorting coke off eachothers hand in the middle of the dance floor, drunk senior citizens, 30$ bar tab (don't ask..).

With that being said..... SATURDAY: little trip down to Athens for UGA game day. Tailgating at the most insane tailgate I've ever seen. Food, Flat Screen with Dish Network, Never-ending bar, 12 too many shots, etc. Skip the game (haven't liked the bulldogs since before I was even concieved in the womb...) walk downtown, 3 bars here, 3 bars there, drunk as shit in a burger joint in the middle of downtown, socialized with bitchy ass UGA sorority girls (all were either too ugly or too pretty for their rude ass attitudes, but it's cool they won't leave with a respectable degree anyway, they DO go to UGA after all...) Left the burger joint, hit the bars for more night time scandals. Multiple shots and wayy too many rum and cokes later I end up raging to this band at the coolest bar in Athens and then leave with our group and hike approximately four thousand miles all over UGAs campus to get to a ride to wherever the hell it is we were staying, couldn' tell u much about that. Coincidently a friend from Southern was practically sober (by pracitcally I mean I was too excited to have a ride slash wayy to blackout to give two shits what they had been drinking) and picked us up from some parking garage(?) and took us to the apt complex we were staying in. The rest of my night was pretty much a blur involving my feet out of the window, tossing 20 pairs of random shoes aside to find my lost sandals, chasing after some random car because I was convinced my friend was still in there, scarfind down pizza rolls at 4 Am and passing out... Obviously I woke up, still PLASTERED, and slept the entire ride back home. Needless to say... I CANNOT WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN!!

Good-freckin-Night!

Current Obsession = Sweet&Low by Augustana

This Library Is Makin' My Back Hurt.....

Just because we are in college and "binge drink" and "chain smoke" doesn't mean we don't hit the books on an occasional to frequent basis. In fact, on any given night at our resident library (which we have so properly dubbed as 'Club Henderson') there will be 3 times as many people packed into that 4 story mansion-of-a-library as there is in all the bars combined here. With that being said... It never fails to amaze me how much fun I have while I am there "studying" (quotes infer that i spend about 30 to 40% of my time socializing rather than studying) and have come up with a list of non-school-related activities I find myself participating in whilst there:

--people watching

--Haters Club

--FACEBOOKing. (duh)

--meaningless internet games

--riding the elevator to try and find the "hidden 5th floor" (done it ONCE)

--chain smoking like Thomas the Tank Engine at the back entrance with my fellow smokers

--Chatting with strangers who claim they are in your Biology class of 400 students which you have no clue who they are

--Screening calls from your parents, siblings, baby mamma, etc.

--trying to find an open bathroom at 3 AM becuase the janitors won't stop yelling at you to go down 3 floors to the open ones.... 50 billion bathrooms and they leave approximately FOUR open after 1 AM... cool.

--Waiting 3 hours to print off ONE piece of paper becuase everyone and their third cousin twice removed thinks they should use the library to print shit off at... have you people not heard of Kinkos?!

......I digress... I would rant more slash continue on about my obsession with studying at Club Henderson but I have more important things to do like hit up that Dollar Wells night, it is Wednesday after all.... Have a good one.

This Nacho Cheese Ain't Sittin So Well....

Don't get me wrong.... I LOVE game day here in college town... but I just could NOT hang in there this weekend. Me and some friends had the bright idea of filling a keg at our appartment instead of actually going out into the blistering sun and tailgating all day like a bunch of redneck mullet-sporting NASCAR fans... yeeeahhh.... Anyway. We all know how I feel about kegs... Kegs are like a Tequila Sunrise, at first its an exciting idea, and that first sip is just awesome... but a few more sips in (or in my case keg stands) and your wishing you had never thrown in on this stupid 1990's frat house ideology. Kegs. psshhh... Needless to say I had my fair share of the keg, went to the game, couldn't stand up any longer so my girlfriend has the genius idea to go meet her sorority sisters at the bar because they're all "too cool" to go to a football game a.k.a. wouln't know what a touchdown was if they had John Madden explain the concept to them. hmmm... Well that is neither here nor there, we get to the bar, its around dinner time so we order food. Me, being in my borderline blackout/beerbellied stage that im thinks it a good idea to order chicken and cheese nachos. Sounds appealing on paper, not so great in real life. End up back at my girlfriends appartment 30 minutes later and can't get back up to go out that night due to a mixture of drunkeness and food poisoining (or whatever you call it when u down a gallon of disgusting nacho cheese, ya know, the plastic-ee kind) ha.

I'm still not sure who won the game, but oh well, there will be plenty more that will not be prequeled with a keg... duh. Anyway, I'm off to clean up this dead roach off my floor, appearantly he has been there for some time. Hmm... Adios Amigos.

PS - I know I said I would start doing TFLN on sundays... but I just don't have time to look through my phone at all the hilarity that was sent me via txt this weekend. Sorry.